The guide
Finding a life partner: a plain guide
Most people you meet here are exactly who they say they are, and serious about marriage. This guide is for spotting the few who aren’t, and for being the kind of match you’d want to meet yourself.
1Faking who you are
- Catfishing— a fake person
- Someone uses another person’s photos and a made-up identity. In matrimony: a stunning profile that refuses every video call. Ask for a video call early, and talk to verified profiles.
- Kittenfishing— a real person, “improved”
- Old or edited photos, an extra few inches, a better job title, a bigger salary. Be the honest profile yourself, and ask simple, specific questions.
- Proxy profiles— someone else is typing
- A parent or relative chatting while pretending to be the person. Families helping is normal and welcome; pretending is not. Ask to speak to the person directly. On MyTrueMatch, family helpers use Family access openly.
- Hidden history
- A past marriage, a divorce, children or a serious health condition kept back until late. Share your own history early, and expect the same.
2Leading people on
- Breadcrumbing
- An occasional message to keep you interested, with no plan to move forward.
- Benching
- Keeping you as a backup while they pursue someone else.
- Cushioning
- Talking to several people “just in case”, while telling each one they’re the only one.
- Stashing
- Never introducing you to their family or friends. In matrimony, where families matter, this is a real warning.
- Future faking
- Big talk of marriage, a home and children very early, to win trust they haven’t earned.
- Love bombing
- Overwhelming attention, gifts and declarations within days. It often comes before a request.
What to do: Watch actions, not words. Someone serious moves steadily: calls, meetings, families.
3Disappearing (and reappearing)
- Ghosting
- They vanish without a word.
- Slow fading
- Replies get shorter and rarer until they stop.
- Orbiting
- They’ve gone, but still watch your stories and like your posts.
- Zombieing
- A ghost who suddenly reappears as if nothing happened.
- Submarining
- A ghost who resurfaces months later, with no explanation.
- Hoovering
- An ex who tries to pull you back with apologies and promises.
What to do: You owe a returning ghost nothing. And when you’re not interested, a kind, clear “no” is always better than silence.
4Manipulation
- Gaslighting
- Making you doubt your own memory or judgement: “that never happened”, “you’re overreacting”.
- Negging
- Backhanded compliments meant to lower your confidence.
- Pressure to rush
- “Decide this week”, before families meet or anything is checked.
What to do: Trust your own judgement. Anyone worth marrying will respect your pace.
5Scams. Read this part twice.
- Money requests
- An emergency, a hospital bill, customs fees on a “gift”, a visa, a business problem. Never send money to someone you haven’t met, for any reason.
- Investment and trading “opportunities”
- Trust is built over weeks, then you’re shown a crypto or trading platform. It is always a scam.
- NRI and visa fraud
- A “settled abroad” match who needs money, or who wants marriage only as a route overseas.
- “Let’s move to WhatsApp”
- Pushing to leave the platform quickly is often about getting away from safety checks. Keep chatting here until you trust them.
- No video call, ever
- Always a bad camera, a bad connection, a busy week. A real person can show their face.
- OTPs, ID copies and bank details
- Never share an OTP. Nobody genuine needs your bank details to get to know you.
- Dowry or “gift” demands
- Dowry is illegal in India. Any demand, however it’s dressed up, is a serious red flag.
What to do: Stop, don’t pay, and report the profile.
6Before you say yes
- Meet properly
- More than once, with families when it’s serious.
- Talk about the big things
- Where you’ll live, careers, money, children, parents, faith.
Most people here are kind, honest and looking for the same thing you are. Go gently, check what matters, and enjoy meeting them.